No Child. You Don’t Want Mommy’s Help With This Homework

No Child. You Don’t Want Mommy’s Help With This Homework

Is there some homework your child comes home with you that you can’t help with? Like, you have zero clue? You can’t even offer to Google it and do a few practice problems to jog your memory.  

I wrote about helping kids with homework a few weeks ago and the process we have in place to teach them to use their resources first.  

Well, let me tell you about that one time my child asked me to help her with Chemistry homework.  

Look! I couldn’t even pretend to need a moment to look a few things up. I had to be straight up with her.  

“I’m pretty sure my high school chemistry teacher passed me to get me out of her class.  We were the WORSE lab group ever! And I’m not sure if I understood anything past chapter 3.”

Nope! My child didn’t care. She was out of resources and needed help.  

So, I pretended to know what the heck I was looking at.  

No clue folks. NO CLUE! They were no longer in chapter 1. Chapters 1 to 3, I got you! 

I could probably skim and understand the basics. But she didn’t even have the book with her. What do these notes even say? She was seriously trying to teach me. I didn’t care and wasn’t even trying to pull from my memory bank at that point.  

“Do you know how long it’s been since I took chemistry?”  

She was determined! And even said, “what about using things you learn in school for the rest of your life?”  

My back was against the wall. I was sweating. “GIRL! I told you I don’t know. Just wait for daddy. He knows,” 


So, I had to tell her. I had to confess about my chemistry experiences. We blew things up. All the time. Mixing chemicals was not my thing — not even sure why the teacher allowed us to get in the same group because we were HORRIBLE. We caught the lab table on fire. YEAH! The electric box caught fire. I barely made it out of the class, I memorized the Periodic Table, but anything beyond that, the struggle was real.  

Do you still want me to help you with your homework? You have an A+ in chemistry right now. Your mom will cause you to get kicked out of class.

She looked at me and said, “oh, yeah. Never mind.”  

A few days later, she asked about staying after school to talk with her chemistry teacher.  I jokingly offered to help her. She said, “no, thank you. I’m trying to pass this test.”  

Do you have a funny homework story to share? There are just some subjects we bow out with for homework help — no shame in my game. 

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